I’m going to be really honest and vulnerable right now. Disappointment is an understatement today. We had been making really good progress with our adoption and we were getting close to being able to release full details and then we got word today that everything is being delayed and pushed back, which means more time, more waiting. I know to everyone else looking in, it’s just a little longer of a wait. No big deal, right? Waiting never killed anyone. “Just have patience” is what we usually hear. But to someone who is on a long journey….waiting can be excruciating. Waiting can sometimes even be devastating. At least in the moment. Yes, we’ll make it through. And after the initial shock of hearing we will have to wait longer wears off, we’ll continue on as normal. And some day I’ll look back and won’t even remember the pain and ache of waiting. But in this moment, it hurts. Waiting is what allows doubts to creep in. It makes it that much longer that I have to fight off the lies and voices in my head telling me it’ll never happen. Waiting is all too familiar and it’s not a pleasant familiar feeling. Honestly, I’ve cried a lot today upon hearing this news. Ever since I can remember, waiting has always made me feel like what I’m waiting for will never happen. And when you’re waiting on a precious little one to be a part of your family, those feelings are overwhelming at times. Waiting is a sad and frustrating part of adoption and unfortunately so are delays. Of course, you go into an adoption knowing that there will be waiting and delays and trying to prepare yourself for that but I don’t think anything ever truly prepares your heart for it. I know the Word tells me to “trust in the Lord and lean not on my own understanding”, I know the Word tells me to “Be still and know that He is God”. I know the Word tells me that those that “wait upon the Lord, will renew their strength”. But right now I’m having a hard time heeding what the Word tells me. So friends, please pray for me today. Pray for my heart while we wait because sometimes the wait can seem never-ending. Sometimes the wait can seem unbearable. And today is one of those days. 

**Edited to say…God sees what matters to us and He cares. Shortly after writing this blog post, I was contacted and although things are still delayed a bit, there have been some changes and adjustments made and we won’t have to wait as long as originally told. Thank you God!!! We could still use the prayers as we wait and prepare for what’s ahead, but I’m so thankful for a God who cares about our hearts and feelings and what we are going through. God is so good. I’m still leaving my original post because I think it’s the raw moments that reveal just how good God is and how much He is with us on this journey.